Remember to Laugh
by Ryan Chapman

It seems as if every day life gets a little worse. That's because it does! But you must remember to laugh.

Last week you were at the bar with your friends. Noelle had a rough week: her office recently switched to an open floorplan, and now everyone goes into the conference room to pass gas while they fake a personal call. Noelle didn't think meeting could get any worse, you know? Remember to laugh, because everyone loves a fart joke. And then offer your sympathy to Noelle, because she could use it, and because she bought the last round of drinks.

Or let’s say you're on the F train with your two reusable grocery bags, plus a third, paper bag because you bought too much, and the goddamn paper bag is about to tear—but then a teenager offers you his seat! Remember to let out a small, appreciative laugh. This act of generosity shouldn't feel so rare, but it does, the world's a flaming pile of garbage. You take the seat, you think about the ice caps, you feel a single tear about to run down your cheek. Hold in that tear! The box of kleenex is at the bottom of the bag, which has now fully torn open.

Sometimes remember not to laugh. Like this Friday, you're planning to stay in, practice some self-care by experimenting with spritz recipes and re-watching one of your favorite '80s movies. You can make the spritzes, by all means, but avoid the movie. The comedy has aged terribly and much of it is offensive. Two of the actors disavowed the film, and wasn't the director MeToo'd? Don't laugh. It's not funny.

On the other hand. Your little brother calls to tell you he's engaged, and immediately you envision the Trump arguments none of your family will be able to avoid over the course of the wedding weekend, not to mention the potential fights with your new in-laws—wasn’t her uncle wearing an “All Lives Matter” t-shirt at Thanksgiving?—remember to take a deep breath. Say congratulations to your brother and marvel at the adult he’s become. Then remember to share the memory of the time he fell in the toilet when he was five years old, and the whole family stood around laughing, which angered him into yelling nonsense curse words, which made everyone laugh even more (your dad had to lean on the sink just to catch his breath), and then your little brother joined in the laughter, because a kid stuck in a toilet is objectively funny.

Also. You made a vow not to check Twitter before noon, and this morning you hit snooze, you tried to go back to sleep—you really did!—but then, you know, the phone's already in your hand. Now you’re wide awake and so full of rage you don’t even need coffee, hell, you could run a 5k right now. And you should! Exercise is good for you! You should also look up some memes for moments like this, memes always calm you down. Remember to laugh at the memes.

And when you tell everyone you're finally quitting Facebook, this is it, the whole thing is one giant slot machine, but instead of coins the slot machine steals the minutes of your life, your one and only life on this doomed planet… Only you didn't get around to it, and then your account was hacked. Remember to laugh! You don't need to remember to throw your laptop across the room. That's instinct.

Also remember: They want you to be angry, and you should be angry. You say something like, I don't know, "Mitch McConnell," and the feeling you're feeling right now is exactly what they want, divisiveness cements their power, it muddies the water, but what's the alternative? There are productive activist strategies and rhetorical responses that we can't go into here, this isn't the appropriate forum, really, we're just trying to enjoy our drinks.

But also: Remember to laugh. If for no other reason than it might confuse them.

And remember to vote! Remember to vote, and to laugh. But don't laugh while you're voting. It isn't illegal (yet), but it’s disturbing to the person voting next to you.